One moment I’m the most peculiar I could ever be and a ton of blank stare later I’m completely normal.
You know the feeling when you hit a few hiccups and your mind naturally goes into the state like its the end of the world that you wish: only if the ground could swallow you up?
I consciously don’t want to be branded as a cliché, but somehow my actions unconsciously points me to the direction of overused truism and I hate that. Not the things that I do but the idea that I’m unconsciously contradicting the things that I want to be celebrated. I keep on betraying myself into feeling culpable that I’m at fault, not good enough and lost.
I know that I will continue to make good and absurd decisions and that will mold me to become the most updated and best version of myself.
My favorite letter I’ve read so far.
“You’ve never stopped leaping through adversity and overcoming internal confrontation even more now our world has become so homogeneous that a singular screen becomes an estranged mirror to see everything at once, with this kind of challenges it’s becoming harder and harder to hang on to your sense of self and aspirations if for a moment you lose your tracking its okay, its normal…its not impossible to overcome.”
Lets say I’m meant to be organize but as time passes I lose track of off everything — just like the structure of this write up.
As much as I want to settle down to it, I’ve learned that keeping the doors open has almost if not always been the best choice — awarding oneself the permission of knowing the distinction of ones choices.
If you take a peak into my brain you’ll probably see a fragment of exploring, a myriad of pondering, and pull backs.
A purge of hallucinations in my brain of what I cannot make of, regardless, I have no idea what scheme you get from this, but then maybe that is what my headspace only wants you to see.
Be kind.
